I got this through one of the mailing lists that I subscribe to and thought it was worth passing along.

With all that is going on right now, is this the best use of government resources? Was turning smokers into common criminals really worth it?

It is my opinion that this is a colossal waste… Unless exerting power over people is the actual goal, which it might very well be.

Hey guys-
Robert Ripley here at Bullseye Saloon.  The MDH (his name was Dale) physically stopped into my bar yesterday at about 3pm.  I was not there so I instead talked to them on the phone.  They asked me to come down immediately and sign this letter.  I politely declined. (ok, not super politely).  Dale told me that he saw “evidence” of smoking going on, (but he did not actually witness anyone smoking) and asked if I was holding theatre nights.  I told him we were.  He then told me that, and I quote, “The MDH is of the legal opinion that these theatre nights violate the MCIAA.”  I responded that “I am of the legal opinion that we are NOT breaking any laws whatsoever.”  He asked if I could give him a “verbal” agreement that we would cease theatre nights immediately, and I asked if he could turn around and let the bartender know that she was being laid off today… I explained that I am trying to keep as many Minnesotans working as possible, and I would like that single-mother bartender to be able to bring a paycheck home to her 4-yr old son this week.  I think he got the point.  He left the form for me telling me that if I did not fax it back before morning they “could” impose legal action like court, $10,000 fine, and loss of license.  I asked him if he had the power to ticket anyone, and he said no.  I asked him if he was going to take away my liq license… and he said that I was “jeopardizing” it.  He started snapping pictures of everything in the bar until the bartender told him to stop taking pictures of her.  They then went to the bar next door to me and did the same thing.  The bar owner over there did the same thing I did.

Blowhards.

I have the letter if you want me to fax it. Here is my number if you would like to speak further on this matter.
Robert Ripley

So the Elliot Spitzer thing has come and gone, and as usual we are left asking ourselves… Are we in the least bit surprised?

I’m not. The people who put on the biggest “good boy” or “holier than thou” act are usually dirty scumbags when they think they’re out of the public’s eye. Oops.

But you see, here’s the thing. I would rather have these people chasing tail and grabbing ass than sitting behind their desks making laws. Seriously.

Whoa now! What about all those morals and standards that we abide by?

Well, let me put it this way. When lawmakers are caught screwing hookers, they are held accountable for their actions and they have to answer to the people and their families. When they are caught screwing us, we are told to turn a blind eye and take it. How ironic is that?

Personally I might be able to swallow the screw job (no pun intended) if I were getting something out of the deal. After all, Spitzer’s whore got a pretty good deal out of the screw she was getting. Line my pockets in that same manner and I might be able to turn a blind eye when lawmakers screw me too!

But you can only stick it to me so many times without giving me something in return before I really get pissed off. I don’t want to sound like I’m whining too much here, but if the hookers is getting hers, why can’t I get mine?

I’m starting to wonder if these lawmakers are playing favorites here. Would I be getting something in return if I were a hot woman? If that’s the case I think I should file suit with the EEOC. After all, the lawmakers are getting a cheap thrill off me while paying for a thrill from the hooker. Can somebody explain to me how that is at all fair?

Where’s the accountability? Where’s the angry wife to beat these people back in line for screwing us like they do? They’re conspiculously absent.

See, this is why I want to see more grab ass and less lawmaking. If these scumbag lawmakers are going to be screwing people, they might as well be doing it out in the open where they can be held accountable for their actions.

Is that asking too much?

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Well, we’ve held off the smoking ban here in Wisconsin for another year. This has been a good week for democracy here in dairy country. Despite the governor’s best efforts and Lance Armstrong’s stumping, we came out victorious.

For those who don’t know, Joey (Pheisty) and I took our cause to Madison last week and visited our reps in the statehouse. We were met with mixed results, but apparently the message was made clear to the right people.

Democracy may be a lost art form in many corners of the country, but at least citizen power still means something here in Wisconsin. We pissed off the American Lung Association, American Cancer Society and all of those other big BIG BIG money special interests and really made them eat their words (after all, they claimed over and over that it was going to happen).

So we’ve won this round, but I fear it’s far from over.

Yes, my friends, sometimes the right thing can happen if you’re willing to work hard…

For more, check out: “That Powerful Tavern League” and “BtB Makes the WSJ” or “BtB Goes to Madison” (and yes, that is us in front of the capital!

And if you haven’t yet, check out our new BtB site at www.banthebanwisconsin.com

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Ok, so I know I haven’t been on top of the big things as of late… And for that I do apologize. So to make up for it, I’ll dive right in on that dreaded topic that continues to plague us despite the overarching thing called… Well, Reality.

As I was driving home from work this afternoon… And I was struggling to see the car in front of me through the dense, wet snowflakes that were roughly the size of my head… I got to thinking of the tv commercial I saw last night. It was one of those exciting, poppy, hip commercials with people dancing and rock stars strutting around,

And then I saw him.

Al Gore. Yes, the one and only. It was a commercial for the network broadcast of the Nobel Peace Prize concert (yeah, I know it happened back on December 11th, but who’s counting?). And then he spoke, and while my ears were bleeding I vaguely made out a bunch of anti-American, global warming doomsday crap.

Nice.

I forced the bile back down my throat and pretended I never saw it. I guess it’s called denial or repression or something. Either way, I dodged an anger bullet and went back to watching NCIS.

But today, while I was cursing the snow, it came back to me and I think my blood pressure spiked to a new high. Why? Because despite my repression my subconscious was apparently putting 2 and 2 together and getting the answer as to what is going on.

You see, this has been a global warming zealot’s worst nightmare of a winter and all of the empirical data has been pointing to everything but global warming. In fact, the data points to more ice than we have seen in decades at the poles and the possibility of a global cooling period. To the nutballs who have been living and breathing this lunacy over the past couple of years, this has got to be a devastating blow. I mean, you might as well tell devout Christians that you have definitive proof that there is no God… And then producing it for them.

Do the words “Everything I have been told to believe is a lie!” mean anything? It better, because the global warm scam is crumbling around their ears.

So what does this have to do with the Al Gore puff-piece known as the Nobel joke? Well, they don’t want people to forget about the doom and gloom that Al Gore touts and pop culture icons stump for. So as spring is approaching and people start to defrost their lives after this record-cold winter, the media wants to match up the onset of warmer weather with global warming again. It’s a classic trick; associating one thing with another even if they literally have nothing to do with one another.

I am currently sitting on several hundred dollars worth of heating bills thanks to several months worth of below average, below zero weather. While this is to be expected in Northwest Wisconsin, it still sucked and it was still damned cold. And for anybody to make any claims of global warming after a winter like this… Well, let me just say that I want somebody to say it to my face so I can  take my frustration out on their ass.

Moral of the story is this:

The media continues to front for Gore and the global warming sickos. Gore is still a raging lunatic who hasn’t gotten over the fact that he didn’t get to wear the presidential ‘jammies. The nobel prize people are a bunch of kiss-ass weenies. And any celebrity who hangs their name on an issue like this deserves to be keel-hauled and shot out of a cannon into the sun.

Oh, and one last message:

“Hey, asshole! It’s COLD out there!”

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I would like to commend the Minnesotans who have told the state where to stick their smoking ban by exploiting a the “actor” loophole.

You’re making waves over there, and now your efforts are being recognized around the world. Here’s the latest from the BBC:

US drinkers upstage smoking ban

Bars in Minnesota have found a dramatic way to get around the US state’s recently introduced smoking ban.

The law grants an exception from the ban to performers in theatrical productions. So the bars have become theatres, and their customers, actors.

Now some bars print bills listing the “cast” of bartenders, and ashtrays become “props”. Drinkers don costumes and attempt strange accents.

But a health official said it was time for the curtain to fall on the ploy.

So congratulation are in order! Keep up the good work and don’t forget that if the going gets tough, all you have to do is cross the river. You’re always welcome in our bars!

Ok, so I was tagged by Roosh and since I need a break from the seriousness of the smoking ban project, I thought I’d play along.

6 random things about me…

1. I have tiny feet for somebody my size which means my balance is terrible. Oh, I’m 6′4″ and have size 10.5 feet.
2. I seek out slightly chunky women when I get a haircut because they are notorious for having long nails and giving great scalp massages when they wash.
3. I’ll try any blue drink once.
4. I’m obsessive-compulsive with checking my email.
5. I watch cartoons on a regular basis.
6. I have an evil, secret addiction to salted black licorice.

And now YOU’RE next!

Joey
MrPinkeyes
Micky
No Compromises
Angel

That has been a tongue and cheek response I have stated for years. Now, finding the irony in that even more, I don’t think I can keep on saying that. I think I am hatching a conspiracy no matter how hard I try to avoid it. Follow along if you will.

China and Russia have the best relations they have had in some say forever.

“Putin and China’s President Hu Jintao meet frequently — five times in the last year alone. They’ve reached agreement on how to draw their countries’ long-contested border and conducted large-scale joint military exercises. Two-way trade, which reached $29.1 billion last year, was up more than 50% in the first quarter of 2006 compared to 2005.”

(http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1209926-2,00.html)

Both of these countries have a long standing hatred for the United States and are major world political powers. A joint effort by these countries would be massive on a world scale. Granted, I don’t believe that any country could ever invade the United States militarily and succeed. Then again, that is all part of my conspiracy.

Now lets move on to the Middle East. You may or may not know, but we are in sort of a conflict over there. So far, we have spent more than 500 billion dollars (http://zfacts.com/p/447.html) on just the Iraq war. This doesn’t include any other funds being dispersed in the area. I am not going to get into the rights and wrongs of the war; I am just going to say “wow, that’s a hell of a lot of money”. As we continue to deficit spend over there, our dollar gets weaker and weaker over here.

Just for fun, lets tie the last two items together in a nice little package. Both China and Russia are at odds with the US in regards to our Middle East plan. They want to help Iraq and get the US the hell out of there. This is cause for a little bit of tension between the countries. Now all of the sudden, we have China, Russia, and many Middle Eastern countries all banding together saying we hate America.

Ok, so our dollar is sinking because of deficit spending in Oil Country and the cost of Oil is going up because OPEC is refusing to increase production. The US dollar is at an all time low against the EURO and some celebs are no longer accepting payment in our money. I know its just publicity on that one, but it still makes me nervous. There is also speculation that gold isn’t really at an all time high, its just that the dollar is so low it makes it look that way. The point of this rambling paragraph is that our dollar is weak and getting weaker with no end in sight.

I mentioned OPEC a minute ago. With our buddy to the south, Hugo Chavez, being an OPEC member and vying for leadership of the cartel, we all need to be worried. He has flat out stated that he wants to use oil production to help shape political boundaries in the world. OPEC controls the amount of oil produced and also controls the price. In a time of perceived need, they sort of have us by the short hairs.

Here is where the conspiracy set in for me. This week some crazy shenanigans happened between Columbia and Venezuela. I have read as many articles as I can find, but maybe I’m just not bright enough to follow along. All I really know is that Venezuela has just put 9000 troupes at the Columbian border and are threatening to invade. I also know that Columbia is an ally of our in the south to combat illegal drug trafficking. If a skirmish breaks out, who do you think will come to the aid of Columbia? That’s right, we may just be on the verge of another 500 billion dollar fiasco.

So, if you follow along with everything that I so neatly put together, we have Russia and China and the Middle East being overly friendly. We have the Middle East and Venezuela as part of the OPEC cartel. We have a potential for a multi front war costing us so much more money than we have. We have OPEC squeezing us for as much as they can with the price of oil. Finally, we are on the edge of an election that will put a liberally minded person (no matter what party wins) in the White House.

Is it too much to speculate that the entire plan started on 911 catapulting us into this war. The other players slowly moved their players into position and let the chips slowly fall. As time went on, they accelerated their activities forcing the greatest power in the world (that’s us if you didn’t know) to be on their heels and not even be aware that all of this was planned out many years ago.

As I said, no country in their right mind would attack the US. They would lose. They could, however, hatch a brilliant plan to erode us away until we end up destroying ourselves and falling to one of the most mocked countries instead of one of the most revered. It looks like I can no longer say everyone has a conspiracy theory but me, because I just formed one.

Thanks to AlaskanCamel for this guest posting. I always welcome and encourage guest contributors!

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Stay the hell out of Wisconsin. You’re not welcome here…

To come to our state, our home, and insult our people as you did is reprehensible at best. Ride your happy little ass back to Texas or France or wherever you choose to hail from these days and don’t come back here.

I hope they paid you well, Mr. Armstrong. I hope you walked away from here with a big fat check - because it is the only good feeling that you should be taking away from this state.

Because to come here and to say (quoted from the Badger Herald)

“People have every right to smoke in solitude…”

is wrong. Very wrong.

When you came here, Lance, did you go anywhere other than the set-up, convenient route? Did you visit a single small town bar? Did you meet the people of outstate Wisconsin?

Tell the people at any of our local bars here in Polk County, Mr. Armstrong. Tell them to go home and smoke in solitude. Tell the bartenders that social time is over - that their customers don’t have the right to congregate and engage socially. Tell the people to stay home, Lance. Tell them to shut themselves in with a beer and a cigarette and sit alone.

Is that what you think of us, Mr. Armstrong?

Do us all a favor. Stay home next time. Stay away from us. Stay away from Wisconsin. You have the right to your opinion, but next time shout it across the border from Minnesota or Illinois, because you wore out our welcome here.

For immediate release: February 29, 2006

Propagandizing the Smoking Ban

Ban the Ban Wisconsin is seeking to set the record straight on the ridiculous propaganda being put forth by the “six groups working to promote the ban” regarding their planned rally this coming Tuesday.

“The smoking cessation, pro-ban advocates think that they can push their agendas through guilt and manipulation. They are parading a stream of ‘woe is me’ stories before the crowds in an attempt to cover up their flimsy arguments behind human faces. It is a reprehensible tactic, yet they go out of their way to tug on the public’s heart strings.”

One of the attendees to Tuesday’s pro-ban rally will be bicyclist Lance Armstrong.

“Lance Armstrong is being used for name recognition and to push the so-called ‘health’ issue. In a recent newspaper article promoting the rally, Armstrong is touted as a cancer survivor, which while admirable, has little to do with smoking bans other than to draw sympathy. Once again we challenge that if this issue were indeed one of health, then a ban on smoking should be proposed, period. Promoting smoking cessation under the guise of smoking bans and hiding behind the cover of public health isn’t going to fly.”

Rally organizers will also be bussing people to Madison for the event.

“Is this an objective way to get your point across? Loading pro-ban protesters onto busses and bringing them all to a single point might look impressive, but it gives people a skewed perspective as to what’s really going on. If all you’re looking for are supporters, then that’s all you’re going to see. Once again, this isn’t a representation of Wisconsin. It is a representation of anti-smoking proponents.”

The local media continues to propagate incorrect information being presented as facts that support the anti-smoking cause.

“It is irresponsibility at its worst to see the media cover just one side of the story here since smoking bans are based heavily on opinion and are often light on hard facts. Ban opponents are written off as agents of tobacco or liquor while pro-ban organizations get a free pass. Arguments by ban opponents are written off as agenda-driven while pro-ban arguments are treated as gospel. This is the sort of thing that has got to end before this debate can be considered legitimate. Otherwise this is nothing more than a one-sided takeover of people’s rights.”

Ban the Ban Wisconsin’s interest in the topic remains one of open debate and integrity in facts. Much of their efforts have been directed towards gathering facts and looking at all sides of the issue instead of focusing strictly on “supporting” data and cherry picking useful talking points.

“The fact remains that when somebody has a vested interest in ancillary goals, their objectivity and integrity cannot be wholly trusted. Anybody can gather data and ‘evidence’ their cause if that’s all they look for. But it’s intellectually dishonest to ignore anything that disagrees with your personal views. And then to try to impose something upon the masses without a fair and open argument, well, it’s unbelievable that we’re even having to have this conversation in this day and age.”

Cross-Posted to Ban the Ban Wisconsin